


Your Memory is My Melody

by Maybelline



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Pendragon Returns (Merlin), M/M, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Merlin/Arthur - Freeform, Merthur - Freeform, Sad, Songs, a thousand years, say something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:48:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26889901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maybelline/pseuds/Maybelline
Summary: Merlin has been alive for over a thousand years, and every year, on Arthur's birthday, Merlin will take his songs to the lake.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Your Memory is My Melody

One thousand twenty eight years, two hundred eighty two days, eleven hours, fifty minutes and seventy six seconds, and Merlin still hadn’t moved on. He’d decided a long time ago that without Arthur, life just wasn’t with living. He stayed by the lake always, his cottage (big enough for two) tucked away neatly between the treeline and the shore, looking out upon that god forsaken tower. The lake was the same as always, untouched by all but himself, protected by his magic.  
Grabbing his guitar, Merlin strode out and settled upon the stone compass he had made centuries ago. With nine minutes twenty four seconds left until Arthur's birthday, it was time. The lyrics had changed over time, becoming closer to him, more fragile, more truthful as he awaited the return of his king.  
With a heavy heart and tears in his eyes, Merlin began to strum the familiar tune on his well loved guitar. He poured all of his doubts, his pain and his longing into every word he sang, as the tears rolled down his face.  
“Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'll be the one, if you want me to. Anywhere, I would've followed you. Say something, I'm giving up on you.”  
Merlin sobbed, his heart breaking, thinking about how long it had been. Wondering if his king would ever return at all.  
“And I am feeling so small. It was over my head. I know nothing at all. And I will stumble and fall. I'm still learning to love, just starting to crawl.” His voice shook and broke. He remembered every mistake he made, every failure and blemish. Morgana, Mordred, Lancelot, Gwaine, Gwen. Every action or inaction that had led to the death of the one person who mattered most. The one person he had cherished above all else.  
“Say something, I'm giving up on you. I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. Anywhere, I would’ve followed you. Say something, I'm giving up on you. And I will swallow my pride. You're the one that I love, and I'm saying goodbye.” This had been one of the first lyrics he made. At first it hadn’t been musical; it hadn’t been beautiful. It had been laden with grief and regret. It was the last thing he had said. His first, unreserved truth.  
“Say something, I'm giving up on you. And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you. And anywhere, I would have followed you, oh-oh. Say something, I'm giving up on you. Say something, I'm giving up on you. Say something…”  
Everything couldn’t have been said in a single song, and he seamlessly transitioned onto the next.  
“Heart beats fast, colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall, but watching you stand alone, all of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer.” Every second hurt like a knife in his gut, but knowing that each knife brought him closer to Arthur’s return was enough.  
“I have died everyday, waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more. Time stands still, beauty in all he is. I will be brave. I will not let anything take away, what's standing in front of me.” No, never again.  
“Every breath, every hour has come to this. One step closer. I have died everyday, waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more. And all along I believed, I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more. One step closer. One step closer. I have died everyday, waiting for you. Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more. And all along I believed, I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years, I'll love you for a thousand more.”  
He paused for a moment and everything was still. The wind a gentle caress on the back of his neck, and the shallow waves a gentle, loving melody. His tears had stopped. Everything felt numb, as it always did when he finished his song. It was the calm before the storm. Gently, with what was left of his control, Merlin set aside his guitar and spoke lovingly into the midnight, “Happy Birthday, Arthur.”  
He collapsed on himself, sobbing. Tears fell uncontrollably down his cheeks, his hands doing nothing to stop them as he wailed in untampered misery. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, doing anything he could to hold himself together, because everything was falling apart. It had been a downward spiral ever since he lost him to the curse. Because that's what it was. Not a prophecy but a curse. To force him to live like this without his other half, without his king, without his Arthur.  
So often he had tried to follow Arthur in death, to no avail. He was alone, unloved, and eternally waiting.  
Then the clock struck twelve. The dormant magics beneath the earth swelled to a boiling point, causing Merlin to gasp at the strain. His own magic lashed out, spreading into the earth and water of Avalon.  
He looked up and stars were shooting across the sky, converging on the lake. The wind pushed across the clearing like a wall, pressing Merlin down onto the ground. It felt like hours before it all finally stopped, and it must’ve been, because when the lake flashed with a light as bright as a thousand stars, the sun was just beginning to rise.  
Merlin looked around in awe. Everything seemed brighter; more alive. His magic was bubbling within him, bursting with excitement and an energy he hadn’t felt in a long time. With a hope he had lost long ago, Merlin stared out across the lake. The water rippled and danced as a head of golden hair emerged from the depths.  
Completely dry, and as beautiful as the day Merlin last saw him, Arthur stood in the shallows. He was taking in his surroundings as if for the first time, and when his eyes finally landed on Merlin, he smiled.  
“Merlin.” The same blue eyes. The same toothy grin. The same golden locks. The same Arthur.  
Frozen in shock, more tears made their way to Merlin’s eyes and he smiled bigger than he felt he ever had. With a shout Merling jumped up and ran. He forced his way through the water as fast as he could, tears streaming down his face.  
“Arthur!” He cried, as he collapsed into his king's embrace. “Arthur, Arthur, Arthur.” His name was a prayer. A prayer that had finally been answered. As he sobbed, Arthur picked him up and carried him back to the shore where they sunk to the ground.  
“I waited for you, Arthur. For so long. I never left. I waited for you, Arthur, I waited.” Arthur shushed him gently as he rambled on. “I would talk to you Arthur. I said everything I never did. Everything. I never wanted to lie to you. I sang. I sang it to you. It hurt, but I did. I told you everything..”  
Arthur cupped his cheek and pulled Merlin far enough away to see him clearly. His eyes were full of love and grief as his thumb brushed away Merlin’s tears.  
“I heard you.” And he leaned in and slotted his lips to Merlin’s like a promise. A promise of a thousand more years.


End file.
